A Different Life
by Heronchildwood
Summary: Imagine if Jocelyn raised Clary as a normal Shadowhunter. What if Jace and Clary became best friends when they were younger and as they got older and started school at the local Idris academy they grew apart? Jace starts dating around, while Clary gets closer to Izzy. But in a single day, something changes between them.
1. Intro

**Imagine if Jocelyn raised Clary as a normal Shadowhunter. What if Jace and Clary became best friends when they were younger and as they got older and started school at the local Idris academy they grew apart? Jace starts dating around, while Clary get's closer to Izzy. But in a single day, something changes between them. When Clary's brother, Jonathan, or other wise known as Sebastian, enrolls into Idris Academy and causes havoc, Clary and Jace are forced to band together to stop her evil, yet different brother.**

***Cassandra Clare owns these characters, not me* **

* * *

**Chapter 1: Intro**

(Past)

Clary Fairchild had lived in Idris her whole life with her mother, Jocelyn. When she was only 6 years old her father, the notorious Valentine, had taken her older brother Jonathan to an unknown place somewhere in the dark woods of Idris. The thing about Jonathan was that he was not an ordinary child. Although he was nice and caring of his younger sister, there was a devious side to him. At first there were just little incidents like gum getting stuck in Aline Penhallow's hair. But then as he got older the incidents intensified. They were no longer becoming a coincidence. No one would call Alec's broken leg a coincidence when Jonathan was at the other end of the rope for the rock climbing wall. Jocelyn and Valentine had argued almost everyday deciding whether or not Jonathan should be punished. When Valentine decided the best thing to do was move out of Alicante, Jocelyn thought otherwise. It ended up as an argument like every other conversation they had; but this argument didn't end in apologies like the others did. Valentine had gone through with his plan, leaving his wife and daughter behind.

It was no surprise to Clary when her mother didn't mourn the loss of her short tempered husband and harm inflicting son. She wasn't feeling any sense of loss herself. When you had a brother who purposely hurt anyone who got in his way, you lose all respect for him. As the years went on the amount of Shadowhunters looking for Jonathan and Valentine quickly dwindled. There was no point for the Clave to look for a man who had ideas to overpower the Shadowhunter's source of government. And eventually the whole search had dissipated and lives went on. Clary had forgotten about her brother and father and let other thing distract her. She became close friends with Jace and his adoptive sister Isabelle. They met in Mrs. Herondale's first grade class on their first day of school and had been as close as a little family. When junior high had rolled around they became their own little click. They weren't outcasts but they also weren't popular. But they didn't seem to mind.

"As long as we stick together, we'll never have to worry." Jace had said every time Izzy would come home crying because someone had made fun of her.

And for years, that statement had been true. Although they were all close, Clary seemed to have a better relationship with Jace. Clary felt like boys were easier to hang out with, even at a young age. But as the years went on, slowly but surely, Jace had grown apart from Izzy and Clary. He would start to hang around Alec, Izzy's older brother, and his crowd of people. The more he spent time with Alec and his group, the more of Jace's true colors started to show. He would pick on anyone who wasn't considered cool, and that included his sister and once best friend. Clary had tried time and time again that what he was doing was wrong, but he would only continue with the insults. After a time, Clary gave up on trying to salvage her friendship with Jace, and soon enough she came to hate the person Jace had become. She didn't hate him personally because she knew that the old Jace was still there, he had to be. And she knew, deep down, that he himself hated the person he had become.

* * *

**Hey guys (: So this is my first fanfic that I've written on here! I would love if you tell me what you think! I know it's short, but I promise that the next chapter will be much longer! Thanks!**

**XOXO**


	2. Summer Loving Gone Wrong

Clary was woken by Izzy jumping on the bed yelling, "Get up! We need to go shopping for clothes!" She jumped off the bed and slapped Clary's butt before walking to the bathroom.

Clary groaned and sat up, looking at the clock, that read 9:36, on Iz's bedside table. She mumbled angrily about how she shouldn't have to wake up this early over the summer. Though to most people, like Izzy, 9:30 was considered sleeping in. She walked over to the overnight bag she packed and grabbed her faded jeans, white tank top, and pink wool cardigan. Clary didn't usually like pink but she liked the way it looked with her fiery red hair. Plus she knew that Izzy hated it when she wore things like her _Star Wars _t-shirt. She walked across the hall to the other bathroom and made a noise of disgust as she looked at Alec and Jace's boy infested bathroom. It was a mystery to her how Jace could be so precise with everything else but he couldn't seem to pick up a dirty towel. She took another step in and closed the door behind her, stripping of her pajama shorts and tank top. Quickly she slipped on her jeans and tank top and walked out before slipping on her cardigan. She took a breath of uninfected air and lightly laughed at herself.

"What's so funny?" Jace said from behind her.

She jumped and let out a small screech. "By the Angel Jace, don't sneak up on me like that!" she slapped him on the arm.

"Ow! Okay, sorry!" he chuckled. "Good morning to you too." he said sarcastically.

"Good morning." she mumbled, still mad for being snuck up on.

He rolled his eyes at her anger but still had a smile on his face. She tried to hide her smile but failed and gave him a bright smile in return. He felt his heart flutter and turned away before she could see the confusion on his face. _This is ridiculous,_ he thought to himself, _she's my best friend! I can't like her!_ Clary looked at Jace in confusion as he looked away from her. She shrugged her shoulders, and when he didn't say anything else she walked away into Izzy's room. She sat on the bed and picked at the fringed hole on the knee of her jeans. She couldn't help but feel a small squeeze in her chest when Jace smiled. It wasn't like she like liked him, they were only in junior high. She didn't want to have a boyfriend in 8th grade. _He has to like you back to be your boyfriend, idiot, _she thought to herself. She knew he thought nothing more of her than just his friend.

"What's wrong?" Izzy said as she came back into the room.

Clary shrugged, "Nothing's wrong." she said, putting a fake smile on. Izzy put her hands on her hips and glared at her best friend.

"I know you too well." she stepped closer and looked at Clary's face, "It's about Jace, isn't it?" she said after a long look.

"What?" Clary looked at Izzy in disbelief, "Jace is my friend, nothing more!"

"Uh-huh." Izzy crossed her arms and tapped her foot in annoyance, "Like I said before, I know you too well. And I know Jace too well also. You both like each other, I mean more than friends, and you are both acting like little kids. Cooties don't exist, I don't see what the problem is." she huffed.

Clary glared at her then sighed, "I just don't want a boy-" her eyes grew wider, "Wait! Did you say he likes me too? How do you know?"

"I know because he's my brother, and he tells me almost everything." she stated matter-of-factly.

Clary looked at her in shock, not knowing what to say. "I- uh- he... What?" she sputtered.

Izzy laughed for a second then became serious within a matter of seconds. It would have been comical if Clary wasn't in so much shock. "Seriously though, you need to either suck it up or I'm telling Jace."

"Tell me what?" a voice said from behind. Clary screamed and fell off the bed.

"Ah! God Jace! There is such thing as privacy!" Izzy yelled accusingly.

"Sorry. I heard you whispering and thought something was wrong." he shrugged.

"Liar, you just wanted to see Clary." Izzy said with a smirk.

"Izzy! SHUT UP!" Clary yelled, attempting to get off the floor.

"Actually I did. I need to talk to her." he said shyly.

"I-you-what?" Clary said in disbelief.

Izzy laughed as she walked out of the room to give them their space. They looked at each other for a second then at the floor. "What, uh... What did you want to talk to me about?" Clary asked awkwardly.

"Um, it kind of has to do with what you and Iz were talking about." he rubbed his hand on the back of his neck and looked up at her through his long golden lashes.

She took a sharp breath in as his gold eyes locked with hers, making her heart painfully throb. She couldn't understand why she had such strong feelings for this golden boy. "Uh, you heard that?" she asked quietly.

He nodded, "You two aren't the quietest whisperers in the world." he said with a weak laugh.

She gulped, not knowing if she was about to cry or vomit. "I guess we'll have to work on that." she said, giving him a weak smile.

"Ha, yeah I guess." He smiled back at her then took a deep breath, "Look Clary, Iz was right. We need to suck it up. I mean, I know were kind of young to be in a relationship, but we're almost freshman. Lot's of people date in high school, and we know each other so well. It's worth a try, right?" he said, hope in his eyes.

"Jace, I really do like you. And I would love to go out with you. But..." She sighed not knowing how to put it, "I just don't want a boyfriend right now. Plus I don't want to ruin what we already have. You're my best friend and I wouldn't want us to pull apart because our relationship didn't work out. I want things to be good between us, I don't want what we have to change." she walked over to him and grabbed his hand. He pulled away almost immediately. "Jace I-" she started.

"No, you don't get it Clary. Things _are _different now." he turned away and stalked out of the room.

* * *

Clary said she felt sick after her discussion with Jace and went home. When she got to her room she flopped on the bed and cried for what felt like hours. When she was done crying she sat on the corner of her bed and drew her feelings out. She was finishing up a drawing of the meadow outside her window when her mom lightly knocked on the door. She sighed then got off the bed to unlock the door and sat back on the bed as her mom walked in.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Jocelyn said as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing, I just don't feel good." she said quietly.

"So that includes you crying for two whole hours?" he mother questioned, "Did you and Izzy get in a fight?" she said after a long pause.

"No, more like me and Jace." Clary said with a sigh.

"I see. And who broke who's heart?" her mother asked without hesitation.

"Mom! Nobody's heart is broken!" _At least I don't think anyone's is, _she thought.

"Sure sweetie." she got off the bed and kissed the top of Clary's head, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" her mom said as she straightened up.

"I know." Clary said, biting her lip.

Her mom nodded before walking out and closing the door behind her. When the door clicked, her shoulders slumped. Her mom's question rang through her mind _'Who broke who's heart?' _The thing was she knew that there was a broken heart, maybe even two. But she knew for sure, the one with the biggest damage was Jace. And it was all her fault.

* * *

**Hey guys! Thank you, thank you, thank you for the amazing reviews! Don't be afraid to tell me what needs to be different or what I should change! I'm a big girl, I can take criticism(:**

**Next update coming soon!**

**XOXO**


	3. The Joys of High School

"Clarissa Adele Fairchild! Get your butt out of bed now! If you're late for your first day you'll be grounded until graduation!" Jocelyn yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

Clary grunted and rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom attached to her room. She turned the water on for her shower and brushed her teeth while the water warmed up. When she was done brushing her teeth she hopped in the shower and quickly washed off. She bolted out of her room and rummaged through her closet for a good first day outfit; which consisted of a black skirt, that stuck to her like a second skin, Izzy forced her to buy and a bright green tank top. When she finished slipping those on she checked in the mirror to fix her long curly hair, which was pretty much untamable. She ended up pulling it up in a high pony, leaving a few strands to frame her face.

"Clary, Iz is here!" her mom yelled.

Clary sighed and slipped on her leather jacket and boots before running down stairs. She grabbed Izzy's hand and headed out the door yelling "Bye mom!" before closing the door behind her. As she made it to the last step she slowed her pace and finally stopped.

"I was about to ask why you bolted out of there, but now I see why." Iz said as she looked Clary up and down, "Fairy's gotten hot." she said with a wink.

Clary winced at the nickname, remembering the certain person who made it up. "I dress to impress." she said flatly. "Do you think you can do my make-up?" she asked after a moments thought.

Iz squealed and grabbed Clary's wrist, running towards the school. "I thought you'd never ask!" She yelled as they ran.

Clary chuckled but didn't say anything as they busted through the front doors and made it to the girls bathroom. Izzy set her bag on the floor and pulled out her make-up bag and started on her new project. Clary stood there patiently while Izzy towered over her and poked at her face with products. When she finished she stepped back and looked at her masterpiece. "You look double hot!" Izzy said with a laugh.

Clary smiled at her and turned around to look in the mirror. She gasped as she looked at the girl in front of her; this wasn't Clary, this was a teenage girl with her eyes and hair but she was actually pretty. "Oh my gosh Iz! Thank you!" she spun around and gave her best friend a big hug.

"You're welcome." she coughed out, "Now let me go before you smudge it, or worse strangle me."

Clary let go with a laugh, "Sorry." she chuckled.

"It's fine, now let's go before we're late." She said, pulling Clary out of the bathroom and down the hall to their first class. They were about to turn the corner when a tall mass ran straight into Clary, dropping her sketch book on the way.

"Ah!" she backed up and bent down to pick up her book, but apparently the other person had the same idea and bent down to pick it up too. They hit heads and both moaned in pain, "I'm so sorry!" she looked up to see who she bumped into. "Oh, Jace!" she said in surprise.

"Hey there Fairy." he smiled his blinding, gorgeous smile.

"H-hey, it's good to see you." she said awkwardly.

"Clary, I saw you last weekend. Don't act like we haven't see each other in years." there was a trace of annoyance in his voice.

"Right, sorry." she gave him a weak smile and stood up. "Well I gotta go. Demonology, you know." she started walking away, Izzy giving her a confused look.

"Wait, I have that class too!" Jace said, running to catch up with them.

Clary sighed and rolled her eyes. She turned her head to the side and gave him a fake smile. He smiled back at her, a truly genuine smile, and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She tried with all her strength not to pull away, knowing it would hurt him. Iz gave her a sideways glance but shook her head in confusion. Clary felt as confused as she did. They walked down the hall in silence, making everything even more awkward. Just as they walked through the door of their Demonology class the bell rang, loud and clear.

"Ladies, gentleman," the teacher said acknowledging Iz, Jace and Clary, "please find a seat." she pointed to the only empty seats in the back. "And I better not see any making out you two." she pointed at her eyes then to Jace and Clary.

"Oh, no it's not that w-" Clary started but was cut off.

"Anyhow, my name is Ms. Carstairs, no r as in no ring on my finger." she put her left hand up and shook her fingers, "Now that we've got that out of the way," she clapped her hands together, "demonology." she turned to the board and wrote a few things on it. Clary tried to concentrate on what was being taught, but was distracted by the golden eyes that were practically burning a hole in the side of her head.

"Clary." a voice whispered beside her.

She turned slightly in her chair and glared at Jace, "What?" she hissed.

"I'm sorry, about this sum-" she cut him off knowing where this was going.

"No, I'm not talking about this. Later." she whispered in irritation.

He nodded and bit his lip. She turned back to the board, only to feel a small poke on her upper arm. "God Jace, what?" she said in a loud whisper.

"When?" he asked sweetly, excitement sparking in his eyes.

"After school." she said with less poison.

He smiled and looked back at the board. She sighed and rolled her eyes. _This was going to be good. _Her attention was no longer on the board, instead it was on her sketch book. She was so engulfed in it that she almost didn't hear the bell that dismissed the class. Iz had snapped her out of her trance and was now leading her to Battle and Defense. They got there early and had nothing better to do but sit there in silence. Finally, Iz was too curious and broke the silence with the inevitable question.

"What was that about? In Demonology?"

Clary shrugged then sighed, "To be honest, I have no idea."

"Sure you don't." Iz said sarcastically.

"He wants to talk about what happened this summer. I don't know why, I thought he kind of hated me now." Clary said truthfully.

"Well someone's finally being a man." Izzy huffed. "As much of a man you can be when you're voice hasn't fully dropped yet."

Clary threw her head back and laughed so hard she had tears coming out of her eyes.

"What's so funny little sister?" a deep, familiar voice said.

Clary froze, paralyzed with a mixture of fear and nostalgia. "Jonathan?" her voice barely rasped out her older brothers name. She slowly turned to look at the fair-haired dark eyed boy. But 'boy' was an understatement; he looked and sounded like a man.

"The one and only." he said, gesturing his hands up and down his body.

"How- I mean, when did you get back? Where's dad? Is he okay? Does mo-"

"Whoa, one question at a time baby sis." he chuckled then put an arm around her shoulders, "Dad enrolled me last week, and yes he's okay. We're still living where we have been for a while. I just missed you." he smiled and squeezed her shoulders harder.

She smiled back at him and brought him into a full hug, clutching him as hard as she could. Though she wasn't sad to see him and his "accidents" leave, there were days she had missed an older brother to watch over her. "I'm so glad your back." she said into his shoulder.

"It's good to be back." he said, pulling away to look at her. "Age has done you well. Does mom know you left the house looking like that?" he asked playfully.

"Not really." she said blushing, "I ran out of the house because I was running late." she smiled and winked at him.

"I see." he laughed, "Growing up to be like your brother."

She shivered at that, knowing that no one could be as devious as Jonathan. Right when she was about to comment, the teacher, Hodge, walked. His last name was Starkweather, but he preferred being called by his first name. "Good morning class. It's nice to see some familiar faces. Meaning you Mr. Lightwood. A sophomore retaking a freshman class." he made a _tsk_ noise with his tongue and looked around at the laughing class. His eyes stopped on Jonathan, "Well, nice of you to make a reoccurrence Jonathan. I guess you're not the only sophomore in this class Mr. Lightwood."

Everyone started mumbling and whispering about Jonathan, surprised that he was back. "Yeah, yeah. Get your little whispers out of the way. I'm back and that's all that needs to be said." Jonathan said in annoyance.

"Mr. Fairchild, there is no need for that. That's a twenty minute detention." Hodge snapped.

Jonathan shrugged, causing more whispers and remarks. Clary bit her lip, knowing she was going to hear a lot about this. All of a sudden the whispers seemed to get louder and the room began to spin. Clary swayed and slid down to the floor.

"Clary?" she could faintly hear Iz's voice as she slowly but surely lost conscious.

* * *

Clary woke up in the school's infirmary with a cold cloth on her head. Slowly, she sat up and looked to see where the nurse. There wasn't a sign of anybody around. She swung her legs over the bed and carefully stood up. When no one rushed in to tell her to lay back down, she picked up her bag and walked out of the infirmary. When she exited the room, she was greeted by Jace. He was standing outside the door with his bag slung over one of his shoulders. He noticed her almost immediately and his eyes lit up.

"You're okay." he let out a sigh of relief.

She lightly groaned, "What happened?" she croaked.

"No one knows, you just kind of passed out." he shrugged.

Her eyebrows furrowed for a second, but then she nodded not wanting to know what else happened. She started walking down the hall, Jace hot on her heels.

"Jonathan's back you know?" Jace said casually.

"I know." she said weakly.

"Is that why you passed out?" he asked out of pure curiosity.

"I don't know." she shrugged, "Not eating breakfast might be a huge contributing factor to that too."

"I don't believe you. I know you, I know how Jonathan gets under your skin. Every time he's around you, you always end up in a situation like this." he said in an unnaturally serious tone that she has heard once before.

She stopped in her tracks, causing Jace to run into her. "Do you, Jace? Do you know me? Because the last thing I remember was you ignoring me all summer because I broke your heart! I can't count how many times I have tried to apologize and you only ignored me further! But here's the thing Jace, I broke my own heart that day! It may sound stupid, I mean we're to young to have thoughts like this, but I was crushed when I said those words! I blame myself everyday you don't talk to me. But here's the thing, I want to try so badly; I want to attempt a relationship with you, but I can't! I can't because I'm afraid you'll end up breaking my heart even more! I'm terrified that you'll shatter the already tiny shards of my heart that are left! My life has been shit, except the parts that include you! And when I decided not to get my heart broken any further, I expected you to see that. And apparently I was too stupid to see that you wouldn't." she stood there and let a lone tear streak down her face.

Jace reached out to wipe it away but she stepped back, "Clary, I-" he started.

"Don't. Just don't, okay?" she turned on her heel and ran out the school, leaving Jace to sulk in what she just admitted.

* * *

**Note: Like usual, everyone born and raised in Idris has a slight British drawl, and in this story, that includes Clary. Just giving you a mental image. XD**

**Thank you all so very much for the amazing reviews! You guys are fantastic! Like I always say though, don't be afraid to give me some feedback on what needs to be changed! **

**I'm having a little writers block, so it would be great if you could give me some suggestions for what to do for the next chapter! Should I continue with freshman year? Have something with Jonathan? Or should I go one to sophomore year?**

**Next update coming soon!**

**XOXO **


	4. I Love You But

Clary hadn't talked to Jace for two weeks, but that didn't stop his persistence. He stood by her locker everyday before and between classes, and when she wouldn't come he would try to find her in the mass of people at lunch. Everyday she would chose a new spot to sit, and she knew it was just to catch him of guard. She had expected him to give up, but each and everyday he tried and failed. But that still wouldn't stop him. Finally Clary gave in, she would have to talk to him one of these days. So one morning, way before first hour started, Clary was the one waiting at her locker. She stood there for no longer than ten minutes, nervously tapping her foot, until a surprised Jace came to stand by her. They looked at each other for a long moment, not knowing what to say.

"Look, Clary," he took a deep breath to prepare himself, "I'm sorry I make you feel that way about me. But I want to assure you that I would never, ever, break your heart. I was afraid too, afraid that I would hurt you. But that day when you told me how you felt, I realized something." he locked eyes with her.

"W-what did you realize?" she stuttered, getting lost in his golden orbs.

He let out a huff of breath, like he couldn't believe what he was about to say, "I realized that I'm slowly falling in love with you Clary." he said slowly.

Clary could feel her eyes grow wider, "Jace, you're mad! You can't love me! I'm damaged goods, trash. I'm not the girl you want to fall in love with." she shook her head manically, as if trying to erase what he had just said.

"Clary, look at me." he grabbed both sides of her face and forced her to look at him, "You're not trash. Everybody has something that makes them vulnerable. And what makes you vulnerable also makes you beautiful." he stepped closer to her, their noses practically touching.

"No, Jace, I'm not. I'm not be-" she started but was cut off by a soft, yet at the same time forceful kiss. For a second she let herself melt into the kiss, but when she realized what she was doing and where she was she pushed him away, shaking her head. "I can't. I-I just can't. I love you too Jace, but this isn't the right time. I get it, you say you won't hurt me, but we don't know what the future holds. A month ago I would have said you were crazy if you told me my brother was coming back, and now look. He's here somewhere acting like his reappearance is nothing. If I let this happen, who knows what could happen a month from now. You were right, things are different now. We've both changed. And I'm sorry that those changes have made things worse, but maybe that's how its supposed to be." She looked into his eyes one more time before walking away from him. But to her it wasn't just him she was walking away from, it was her old life, what was normal to her, that she was walking away from.

* * *

After their kiss, Jace had stopped trying to talk to her. Clary knew that he was hurt, but she also knew that there wasn't anything she could do about it. He probably hated her and she would have to live with it. Izzy didn't ask what happened, knowing it would only tear Clary apart even more. It was Jonathan who made Clary realize something.

"Clary, I love you, but I hate seeing you like this. You either need to move on or let things happen." he said truthfully.

At first she didn't know how to respond to that; but as she pondered what he had said she realized that he was right. She knew she couldn't just 'let things happen' so she decided to move on. She wasn't the only who moved on. Jace finally showed his potential to be the player she knew he would be. He seemed to have a new girl on his arm each week. Clary could've sworn that every time he walked past her in the hall he purposely made his new girl laugh about some irrelevant joke. She rolled her eyes, trying with all her might to ignore them.

"You need to not let him bother you." Iz said as she came up to Clary's locker.

"I know." she sighed.

Iz gasped and slapped Clary's arm, "Ow! Geez Iz, what was that for?"

"Shh, hottie with a body ten o'clock. And he's looking at you." she whispered.

Clary looked at her in confusion but followed her gaze anyways. She wasn't kidding, this kid was hot. He had deep blue eyes like the sea and hair dark as chocolate. And to Clary's disbelief he was staring straight at her. She smiled and blushed causing him to smirk.

"Go talk to him." Izzy hissed.

"He can come to me if he wants to talk to me." Clary said, not breaking her gaze with this mystery boy.

"Look at you. I've taught you so well." Izzy said, sounding like a proud mother.

As if Clary's words beckoned him, he slyly walked over to her, stopping so close that she could feel his breath blow through her hair. "I'm Ash." he said in a buttery smooth voice.

"Clary." She said with a shy smile.

"Hello Clary." he smiled a bright smile.

"Hey there yourself." she giggled.

"So I couldn't help but notice how cute you looked and I had to ask you something."

"And what would that be?" she felt really nervous all of a sudden.

"What are the chances of a guy like me going on a date with a girl like you?" he asked so casually, but it made her shiver with the way his voice purred when he said it.

"Very likely." Iz chimed in.

He looked over Clary's shoulder and gave a light laugh. Then, looking back at Clary, he gave her a questioning look as if to ask if Iz was right. "I mean I guess it wouldn't hurt." Clary said trying to act coy.

He laughed again, "Cute and funny. Does Friday at seven work?" he bit his lip and almost sent her over the edge.

She blushed and nodded, "Friday, at seven." she agreed.

"See you than." he smiled, "It was nice to meet you-" he looked at Izzy.

"Isabelle." she said.

"Well, Isabelle, it was nice to meet you. I'll see you around Clary." he smiled at both of them and walked away.

When he was out of sight, Clary about melted to the floor, "Oh, my, god. Did that really just happen?"

Iz put a hand on her shoulder, "Believe it my dear friend."

Clary laughed and daydreamed about what her date on Friday would be like. Friday couldn't come fast enough.

* * *

When Friday rolled around, Clary was a nervous wreck. Iz had come over to help her get ready, which included a lot of mascara and being burned by a straightener. Jocelyn had a Clave meeting to attend to, probably about Jonathan, so she couldn't be there to see Clary go on her first date. Clary didn't seem to mind since Ash was a sophomore and knew her mother would be a little skeptic of that.

"Done!" Iz exclaimed as she put the final touches on Clary's face.

Clary got of the bed and went over to her vanity gapping at her reflection. Her fiery hair was almost to her waist and the eye liner made her green eyes looked like emeralds. She was about to thank Izzy when the doorbell rang downstairs. She froze as Iz ran down the stairs to let Ash in.

"Hey Iz." he said sweetly, "Where's Clary?"

"She's upstairs, I'll go get her." she said. Seconds later there were footsteps coming up the stairs and a hand grabbing Clary's wrist. She took a deep breath and let Izzy lead her down the stairs, and by the time she saw Ash by the door she had regained her composure. She felt confident in herself, sexy even. That may have been because Izzy made her wear a skin tight red lace dress with contraptions that Izzy considered shoes. She was almost as tall as Ash now, considering that he's a good head taller than her on a normal day.

"Wow, I uh... Wow." he said as she came to stand in front of him.

She looked down at the floor and smiled shyly while tucking a piece of hair behind her hair. They stood there for a second and finally Clary looked up at him through her long lashes.

"Should we, um," he cleared his throat, "should we go?" he asked, offering his arm to loop with hers. She nodded and smiled and she took his arm.

She turned to look at Iz, who just winked at her and made a shooing motion with her hands. Clary smiled and followed Ash out to town where their date was. He lead her into a restaurant that he had made reservations for. Clary gasped as she took in the beautiful place, "Ash, this is amazing. How did you get reservations?" she breathed.

"My parents own the place." he said simply.

"Oh." she said. She gaped at the huge chandeliers with draping crystals that casted colorful reflections everywhere. She could feel Ash looking at her as she took it all in. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by a waitress with long brown hair and blue eyes like Ash.

"Shall I get you a table little bro?" she asked teasingly. _Little bro? _Clary thought. _Oh! That's Ash's sister! _Ash shot his sister a piercing look but nodded. She led them to a small table in the middle of the restaurant and left them to look over the menu. Clary kept looking up from the menu and would catch Ash's eyes on her. She blushed and smiled into her menu.

Ash gave a lighthearted laugh, "You're cute." he said sweetly. This only caused Clary's blush to become a darker shade of pink. She giggled and reached out to grab her glass, but was stopped by Ash's fingers entwining with hers. She looked up at him and gave him a shy smile, completely forgetting the water. They sat there for what felt like forever and just stared at each other.

A small noise came from beside them and they broke their stare. The waitress, Ash's sister, had cleared her throat, "Are you guys ready to order or are you going to make out already?" she said in disgust.

"Shut up Nellie." Ash said through gritted teeth. Clary squeezed his hand as if to tell him it was alright. He took a deep breath and smiled at Clary. Glancing back up at his sister he ordered a few things off the menu for him and Clary. When he was done Nellie walked away and left the two alone for him. Clary hadn't realized it but she had been staring at him in awe as he ordered the exotic food.

"What?" he asked cautiously. "Is something wrong?"

She shook her head and smiled, "No, nothing's wrong. I'm just confused as to why someone like you would ask someone like me out." she said in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confusion in his eyes.

"I mean that you're a popular sophomore, a hot one might I add, and I'm a nothing freshman. Not to mention that I'm not pretty." she explained.

He looked at her in surprise, "Clary, you're not a nothing. You're something to me. And no, you're not pretty. You're beautiful."

* * *

Ahs and Clary walked home hand in hand that night, a comfortable silence surrounding them. Clary was still shocked at what he had said earlier; how he had called her beautiful and something to him. They made it to her front porch all too soon and Clary didn't want to let go. She stood there, barely noticing the pain in her feet from the heels, and stared into Ash's eyes.

"Can I ask you one thing before we part tonight?" Ash asked, breaking the silence.

"Anything." Clary said quietly.

He smiled, "Can I kiss you?"

Clary looked at him for a long second before nodding. Ash stepped closer and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. She gasped and slightly lifted herself up to his mouth. He met her the rest of the way, causing their lips to lightly clash together. At first it was soft, like his lips. But as time rolled on, the kiss became more fierce, more needy. When they finally broke for air, both their faces were red. Clary broke into a smile before stepping away from his grip.

"I'll see you Monday." she said before opening the door and stepping inside.

* * *

Clary practically ran to school on Monday. All weekend she had replayed the kiss in her mind, she even dreamt about it. It was perfect, but in the back of her mind there was something missing. She shook her head and kept her focus on Ash. Thinking about how she was going to see him again- and his lips- wishing she could get to school faster.

"Clary, slow down. If you walk any faster you'll pull my arm off." Iz said, digging her heels into the ground to slow down.

Clary sighed, "Sorry."

Iz smiled, "You want to see him again, don't you?" she teased.

"So bad." Clary whined.

Izzy laughed and led Clary into the school. They walked into the bathroom and Iz set her bag down. "Well then I guess I'm going to have to do your make up."

Clary nodded, letting Iz do whatever she had to do to make her look pretty. When she was done, Clary didn't bother looking in the mirror. She grabbed Iz's wrist and pulled her out of the bathroom. "How do you know I didn't make you look like a clown?" Iz asked from behind.

"Because, I know you too well." Clary said with a smile. She let go of Izzy's wrist as she neared her locker. She opened it and grabbed her Demonology textbook. As she reached for her sketch pad she felt strong arms wrap around her waist an a chin lean on her shoulder. She turned around and smiled up at Ash before his lips were on hers. They broke apart and smiled at each other.

"Well, I'm going to class." Iz said awkwardly.

"Bye." Clary said not breaking her gaze from Ash. Izzy mumbled something about needing a boyfriend and stomped off.

After a while of soft whispers and kisses Ash walked Clary to her Demonology class. They kissed goodbye and Clary glided into the room, feeling like she was on a cloud.

* * *

Everyday, Ash and Clary had gotten closer. Clary never forgot about Iz though, considering she was her best friend. Soon enough Clary and Iz were the 'it' girls and Ash and Clary were the hottest couple in school. Everyone wanted to sit with them at lunch, talk with them in the hall. Boys fell for Iz like flies, and she enjoyed all the attention.

As the school year closed to an end, Clary couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. At first she thought it was Jonathan, who hadn't caused any problems at all. But when she told herself that's what the feeling was, something in the back of her mind told her otherwise. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, until one day. That was the day she caught Jace staring at her and Ash, their hand entwined together, in anger. It was only there for a slit second, but she was sure it was there. And since that day, she couldn't seem to get her mind off of him.

* * *

**Hey my lovely readers! Sorry for taking a while to update... I've been sick and preparing for finals at school... Yay finals... Just kidding. Anyways, love hearing your reviews! Need some suggestions for the next chapter... Should I move on to sophomore year or the summer? **

**I promise there will be some Clace action, but later! Thinking about changing the rating, if ya know what I mean *wink wink* (; Maybe even a little surprise... But I won't tell you! *Laughs evilly* All good writers leave their audience hanging XD**

**XOXO**


	5. Realization

The summer before sophomore year had been the best in Clary's life. Ash had taken her to so many amazing dates and parties. Ash himself was amazing. Clary had never had a boyfriend, and so far her first experience was breathtaking. He was so polite and generous, and not to mention hot. He was the whole package.

Izzy and Clary had never been more close until now. Everyday they hung out, gossiping about their amazing boyfriends, Iz was dating the football star Gabriel, or prepare themselves for another night of fun. They were known by almost everyone. As much as they loved the attention, they tried not to let it get to their heads. The last thing they wanted was to become the school bitches.

Even if her life seemed great, there was something- more like someone- that wouldn't leave Clary's mind. Jace. Everyday she would see him, and each day they would ignore each other. The only said between them was a small 'hello' or some snide comment from Jace. Ever since last year, Jace hasn't bee the same. If Clary hadn't been so close to him she never would have noticed the complete jerk he's become. Never in their life had Jace ever done anything to intentionally hurt someone, except for maybe a demon, but they didn't count. But now it seemed that he lived to make her life a living hell. Every time he tried to bring her down she would remember what he would say when somebody made fun of them when they were younger; "As long as we stick together, we'll never have to worry." That meant nothing now. What Clary didn't get was how she didn't see this coming. How did she not see that Jace had the potential to be a total ass hole? The thing was that she knew this wasn't the real Jace. He _didn't _have the potential, he just knew how to create a façade that made him look that way. Her Jace would never have become like this if it wasn't for her. But he wasn't and would never be her Jace again.

* * *

Clary was woken up by the annoying beeps of her alarm. _Great, _she thought,_ first day of school. _She groaned and sat up, staring out the window. The sun was barely noticeable over the horizon, braking the Idris twilight with streaks of pink. Clary felt her fingers twitch, wishing she had a sketch pad in her lap and a pencil in her hand. She hadn't drawn in what felt like forever, knowing that the first thing she would draw when she opened her sketch pad would be Jace. It wasn't intentional, it just seemed that her pencil had a mind of it's own and Jace was the first thing on it.

Clary slowly slid out of bed and padded off to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the full body mirror, thanking Raziel for puberty. She was still the short red head she'd always been, but with curves. She gave herself one more glace before turning on the shower and stripping off her pajamas. She quickly washed her hair and body and almost slipped as she ran to get her towel. There was no need for her to rush, she still had about an hour until Iz came to walk to school with her and she had seen Ash yesterday. It was just something in her mind that made her want to rush.

She walked into her room and plucked through closet. Her wardrobe had completely changed from innocent little girl to a daring teen. Everything she owned was tight and a little flashy, it made her feel and look like a girl. Izzy was overly happy with her change in style, and she didn't mind it herself. And then there was make-up. Clary rarely ever wore it, and if she did it was very little. Iz had taught her the basics, but her definition of basic was to look like a clown.

When she had picked out a cute outfit- a silk green top, striped skirt, and sandals- she ran downstairs into the kitchen. There was a note and a plate full of pancakes, meaning her mom wasn't home. _Typical, _she thought. She grabbed the note and sat at the table.

_Clary,_

_Sorry I couldn't be here this morning. I know I've been gone a lot, I'll make it up to you I swear. I probably won't be home until Wednesday, so be safe. _

_~Sorry, love you_

_Mom_

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She mumbled to herself. She sighed and set the note down.

"What's got you so down little sis?" a voice said from behind.

Clary practically jumped out of her chair when she heard Jonathan's voice, "By the Angel, don't do that!" she yelled, "Wait, how did you get in here?" she asked incredulously.

"It's called the front door." Jonathan said as if it were obvious.

Even though they went to school together, they never talked like brothers and sisters were supposed to. The only conversation between them was a simple hello and goodbye, nothing more.

"I know what a front door is, the question is how you got through it." she said, glaring at him.

"Mom didn't lock it." he nonchalantly shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal.

Clary nodded, mentally telling herself to stay calm, "Why _are _you here though?" she asked in a wavering voice.

He laughed as though her fear was amusing, "I'm here to take you to school, why else?"

"Oh," she said quietly "well we're going to have to wait for Iz and Ash." He scowled at the mention of Ash. "What?"

"I don't like that boy." he said in a scary low voice.

Clary snorted, "What are you? Dad?"

He laughed, though there was no humor in it, "I'm just saying, you could do a lot better. Like J-"

"No, not _this _again. I told, he hates me now." she said crossing her arms over her chest.

"Actually we _never _talk anymore, so I wouldn't know if he hates you or not." he said, mocking her stance.

Clary rolled her eyes but didn't argue. He was right, they didn't talk anymore. Jonathan opened his mouth to say something, but the door opening interrupted him. Iz and Ash walked in and stopped in surprise. They looked between the siblings, but said nothing. Clary got up from the table and walked over to Ash and wrapped here arms around the back of his neck, pulling him out of his shock. He looked down at her with a smile that made knees weak. She tilted her chin up as he bent his down, causing their lips to sweetly brush against each other. She was about to lift up on her toes when someone cleared their throat. Clary reluctantly stepped back and looked at her brother, shooting daggers at him with her eyes.

"What?" she snapped.

"Oh, nothing." he said casually.

"Nothing my a-"

"Calm down babe, it's okay." Ash stopped her.

"_Babe_?" Jonathan asked through clenched teeth. _Where did that come from? _Clary thought.

Before anyone said anything Clary stepped in between the two boys, trying to prevent any damage. Her back was against Ash's chest and she could feel his muscles tense under his shirt. "Okay, we all need to calm down. _And _we need leave, mom will kill both of us if we don't get there on time." she said in a steady voice.

Jonathan glared at Ash over her shoulder one more time before nodding. Clary grabbed her bag from the chair and entwined her fingers with Ash's. He looked down at her and smiled apologetically, but she shook her head as if to say it was okay. But in reality, it wasn't. She was dreading the day that the old Jonathan would come back, and today could have been that day if she hadn't intervened.

"Are you okay?" Ash whispered in her ear.

She jumped, "Yeah, I just feel a little off today." she shrugged.

He nodded, not asking any further, and pulled her out of the door. Jonathan and Iz followed behind, lightly talking. They weren't very close, but Izzy felt the need to be polite to him despite what he did to Alec years ago. It wasn't that Iz was afraid of him, it was just that she knew him almost as much as Clary did.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happ-" Ash started.

"Don't be," Clary shook her head, "It wasn't your fault. My brother's like that sometimes."

"I am not!" he yelled from behind.

"Yes you are, and you sound like you're five!" Clary yelled back, trying not to laugh.

He picked up his pace and wrapped his arm around her shoulder when he got close enough. "So? Someone's got to have a little fun." he said squeezing her shoulder lightly.

"I have fun! I just know when it's time to be serious." she scoffed.

Jonathan laughed, but didn't say anything further. They all walked in a somewhat comfortable silence until they got to the campus. Jonathan said a quite goodbye and headed to meet his friends. Clary and Ash walked in hand in hand to her locker along with Iz and Gabriel. They all stood in a little group, barely talking. Clary against a locker while Ash stood in front of her, his forehead leaning on hers. Her eyes were closed, but she was smiling brightly. She'd never felt this happy in her life.

* * *

"Get a room!" someone yelled.

Clary's eyes popped open and she was about to spit something back when she realized who it was. She just stared. He didn't even look the same. He still had the ear length golden hair and eyes to match, but that was the only thing that was the same. His baby fat was gone and his face was much more angular and hot. And his voice was deep and unrecognizable.

"Like what you see Fairy?" he chuckled and smirked. _Damn him and his cute smirk, _Clary thought to herself.

She snorted, "You wish. Jealous much _Jacey_?" Clary asked, thankful that her voice was steady.

He flinched and his smirk faltered at the nickname, but within a second his jerk like façade was back, "Pft. _Me? Jealous?" _his voice shook a little,_ "_You were always good at jokes." he sneered, sarcasm thick in his words.

Clary's clenched her jaw and fists, trying to fight the urge to slap that smirk off his face. "Oh, how sweet. Didn't know you were capable of giving complements." her voice wavered with anger.

He put his hand to his heart in mock hurt, "I give nothing but compliments."

"I'm sure you do." she mumbled under her breath. Ash gave her a concerned look and ran his hands up and down her arms. When he knew she wasn't going to blow he turned his attention to Jace.

"So I'm having a party tonight, you're welcome to come if you want." he said in his cool and collected voice. It irked Clary a little, knowing he could be so calm when she was about to rip Jace's head off.

Jace looked at Ash for a second then back to Clary, "Sure, I have nothing better to do." he said with a shrug and a wink. She swore he did it just to piss her off even more.

"Great, we'll see you there." Ash said calmly.

Jace nodded and glanced at Clary one more time before walking off. She could have sworn there was a look of hurt in his eyes, but she couldn't tell why. She gave him a slight smiled then turned to Ash, "Are you crazy? Why did you invite him?" she said in a loud whisper, afraid that Jace was still in ear shot.

"It felt like the nice thing to do." Ash shrugged.

"My brother doesn't deserve nice things, he usually ends up ruining them." Iz said, looking over Gabriel's shoulder.

"See," Clary pointed, "even Iz thinks it's a bad idea."

"Sorry. It's too late now." Ash said in defense.

Clary groaned and turned around to open her locker. This was going to be an interesting party. She angrily threw a few things in her locker and slammed it when she was finished. Ash was still standing there, looking like a hurt puppy.

"Don't look at me like that." she sighed.

"Like what?" he put his bottom lip out, only making her want to kiss him.

"Like I kicked you." she said in exasperation.

"Fine, I'll just have to do this." he said with a menacing smile.

"Do wh-" she was cut off by a fit of giggles as he reached down and attacked her sides. She threw her head back, giving him the opportunity to put his face in the crook of her neck. She laughed even harder and tried to push him away, but he was too strong. "Stop it!" she yelled in between giggles.

"Only if you call a truce." he said, his voice muffled in her hair. She could feel him smile on her neck.

"Okay, okay! Truce!" She yelled.

He let go and stepped back, still smiling. She smacked him lightly on the chest, but was smiling too. "Now tell me that you love me." he chuckled.

"No." she said with a pouty face.

"Do you want me to tickle you again?" he said, putting his hands by her sides again.

"No!" she screeched. She looked him in the eyes and smiled, "I love you." she said in all seriousness.

He looked at her in surprise, thinking she was going to say it jokingly. "I love you too." his smile grew even wider.

They just looked at each other, not saying anything. That was the first time they had ever said it to each other. It was special, or it was supposed to be. But something in the back of Clary's mind told her it wasn't right. Like she wasn't supposed to be saying it to Ash.

"Come on you two, we're going to be late for class." Gabriel said, breaking their staring session.

Clary said goodbye one last time and walked to her first class with Iz. When they got far enough Iz stopped and looked at Clary, "What was that?"

"What was what?" Clary asked innocently.

"Back there? You said what you said, but you looked conflicted about it." Iz crossed her arms.

"No I didn't! It was the first time we said it, I was a little shocked." Clary said.

"Then say it. Say that you love Ash Croshford." she squinted her eyes in accusation.

"I love Ash Croshford!" Clary threw her hands up in exasperation, "Happy now?"

"No, say it like you mean it."

"I..." she paused then took a deep breath, "I can't."

"I knew it! This is about Jace isn't it?" Iz sounded like she was mad, but her face looked sincere.

"No. Maybe." Clary sighed, "I don't know. Just... don't tell anyone. Okay?" she rubbed the heel of her hands on her eyes in frustration. She could already feel a headache coming on.

Iz nodded her head vigorously, "I swear on the Angel."

"Good, now can we go to class?"

"Right, class." Iz said, but she still sounded distracted.

They got to class just before the bell rang. The teacher, Mrs. Gray, told them to sit any where they like as long as they weren't disturbing the class. It as homeroom, so there wasn't much to disturb. Iz and Clary took two empty seats in the back and started talking about the party.

"What are you going to do?" Iz asked.

"About what?" Clary asked in frustration. She was getting really tired off all the open ended questions.

"About Ash." Iz sais, as if it were already obvious.

"Nothing," she sighed, "I can't really do anything anyways."

"Yes you can! I get it, he's hot, he's sweet, the whole package deal. But..." she let her words fall, expecting Clary to continue.

"But nothing! You said yourself. He's the package deal, what more could I want?"

"Are you ladies talking about me?" a deep voice said at their side. Jace.

"Fuck off Wayland." Clary said through clenched teeth.

"Whoa, just trying to lighten the mood." he lifted his hands up in surrender.

"Yeah, well if you want to lighten the mood go sit somewhere else." Clary snapped.

"Where am I supposed to sit your Highness? There's no more seats left." he sneered.

"The floor looks nice and comfy." she remarked.

Jace opened his mouth to say something else but was stopped by Iz's death glare. "Not another word." she snapped at him.

He sighed, but listened to what he was told to do. Clary put her head on the desk and took a deep breath to calm herself. Even though Jace wanted to make her blow her brains out sometimes, there was something about him that made her want to kiss and touch him non stop. She may have said she loved Ash, but in reality he wasn't the one she loved. The one she loved was Jace. She knew it was wrong though, for many reasons. One, she had a boyfriend. Two, Jace hated her. And three, Jace was a player. He hasn't had any serious relationships whatsoever. There was no way in hell, if they did date, that he would stick around with Clary. Not with what she put him through.

* * *

Every class was like a living hell for Clary. She had one class with Iz and the rest with Jace. Each time he would try harder and harder to piss her off. And each time he succeeded. It was like a weight was lifted when she stepped outside, only to be put back on when she saw Ash. He was all smiles and love when he saw her, but all she could feel was guilty. Guilty that she didn't truly love him back, and guilty to love someone who hated her. The one thing she couldn't do though was break Ash's heart. She loved him enough to not do that.

"Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet." Ash asked, breaking her out of her thought.

"Hmm?" she shook her head, trying to concentrate on what he asked, "Oh, yeah. I'm fine. Just a little tired, that's all."

He squeezed her hand and smiled at her, "Are you sure, 'cause I can go home with you if you're not feeling okay."

"No, it's okay. Iz will take me home. I'll see you later." she smiled up at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.

He said a quick goodbye and left to walk home. Clary let out a sigh and walked towards Izzy, who was waiting for her by the stairs. "Ready to go?" Clary asked as she got close enough.

"Yeah, sure! But... we... um, we have a little problem." Iz said, biting her lip.

"What?" Clary whined. She was done with all the complications of today, the last thing she needed was another.

"My mom doesn't want me to leave Jace at home, so he has to come with us." Iz said it so fast that Clary could barely understand her.

Clary stared at her in disbelief, "No. No! Absolutely not! I am not letting him into my house! He hates me anyways, why would he want to come to my house? Can't he go to someone else's house?" she yelled, causing heads to turn in her direction.

"That's the thing. I asked him the same thing, but he suggested that he come with me. It's not like I can stop him." Iz bit her lip and looked at her with an apologetic look.

Clary rolled her eyes and groaned, but didn't argue any further. Iz was right, they couldn't stop him. She turned around and started to walk home. This was going to be a long walk.

"Hold up!" a voice said from behind them. The two girls whipped their heads around to see Jace running towards them. Clary took a deep breath and turned back around to start walking again. She was stopped short when an arm was wrapped around her shoulders.

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed.

Jace smirked, "I'm being friendly, what's wrong with that?"

"A lot. This isn't friendly, it's weird." Clary stepped out of his reach and stood on the other side of Iz.

He looked at her for a second then shrugged as if it were nothing. "So, how's it going with you and Ass?"

"_Ash_, his name is _Ash_! And it's none of your business." she retorted.

"I take it things aren't going very well." he said it under his breath, but it was loud enough for Clary to hear.

"Jace." Iz warned.

"No, it's fine Iz." Clary looked at Iz then at Jace, "I'll have you know that _Ash _and I are doing very well. We're in love and you're just jealous."

Jace flinched but didn't stop, "And _I'm _about ninety percent sure that that isn't true."

"Oh? Really now?" she was turning red with anger.

"Yeah." he said confidently.

"_Jace_!" Iz hissed.

Clary was steaming now. She stepped closer and looked up him. He had a look on his face that she wanted to just slap off, and that's just what she did. It was one of those moments where it happened so fast, but if felt like it was all in slow motion. The palm of her hand connected with his face and that was all she could feel.

He cupped his face with his hand, "What the hell was that for?" he yelled.

"The other ten percent!" she yelled before stalking off.

"I told you! Why are such an idiot?" Iz yelled before running after her friend.

"How was I supposed to know she was going to slap me?" Jace called out.

Iz sighed and turned to look at her brother, "You had it coming." she stated simply. When he didn't reply she turned her attention back to Clary, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." she said flatly.

Iz let it fall, knowing that Clary would just snap again if she was pushed. They walked to her house, Jace trailing behind them, quiet for once. When they finally got to her house they all sat at her table. No one said a word, and the only noise was the cricket chirping outside.

"I'm going to go get ready." Clary said quietly, breaking the silence.

"I'll help." Iz volunteered, happy to have a distraction. Clary just nodded and walked out of the kitchen with Izzy on her heels.

She quickly changed into a black and white print dress and pale pink flats. She sat quietly as is straightened her hair and applied a small amount of make up. There was a heaviness in the air, and she knew that Iz wanted to know what happened.

"I just snapped Iz, that was all." she said before the question could be asked.

"I know, but what I don't get is why you can't just admit it." Iz sighed.

Clary looked at her, puzzled ,"Admit what?"

"That the reason you don't love Ash is because you love Jace." Iz turned around to put away the make up.

Clary stared at her back for a long moment, "It's true. I do love Jace." she said quietly.

"You... What?" Iz spun around in surprise.

"I'm in love with Jace." she said more to herself than to Iz, "But that doesn't change anything." she said. But she knew that was a lie.

"Clary, it changes everything." _Everything_, Clary thought.

She shook her head, "Yeah, it does."

* * *

**A/N: So I was thinking about stopping it here, but I love you guys enough to keep going (;**

* * *

After Iz finished touching up her make up and changing her outfit, they all left for Ash's party. No one said a word, and Clary was just fine with that. Though she admitted what she's known for a long time, she wasn't ready to tell Jace. Partly because she was afraid of rejection, but mostly because she couldn't conjure up the strength to break it off with Ash. She had just told him she loved him, and he said it back. Clary just wished she could live a simple life. But you couldn't live a simple life when you hunted demons for a living.

When they got to the party the house was already full of people. Clary looked around until she spotted Ash. "I'm going to go talk to him." she yelled over the music.

Izzy looked in the direction Clary was looking and nodded. They both knew that she was going to talk to him about their relationship. Clary felt wrong to lead him on by thinking her feelings were real. She pushed through the crowd, holding her breath to keep from throwing up from the alcohol smell. When she got to where Ash was, her dress was all wrinkled and her hair was messy and uneven. He looked up and smiled.

"Hey, where have you been?" he asked, slurring his words.

"I just got here. Are you drunk? Wait, never mind. I need to talk to you. Privately." She said sternly.

There were a few whoops and hollers from around them; people assuming that private meant something more than what it was. Ash hushed them, knowing that she was being serious. He stood up and pulled her to a room down the hall. Clary could have sworn that she saw a flash of gold hair, but she dismissed it as she followed Ash. He opened the door and lead her, not letting go of her hand. When the door was closed, they both sat on the bed, neither of them saying anything.

Ash sighed and broke the silence, "Okay, what's up?" his words still slurred, but he was more alert.

Clary looked up at him, already feeling tears threaten to spring out. "I can't do this anymore." she said quietly.

He shook his head, "No, you can't say that. You just told me you loved me this morning. Are you telling me that was a lie?"

"No, I do love you. I just don't love you as much as you love me. And I know that's harsh, but I can't go on knowing that we don't feel the same for each other." she said, finally letting the tears come.

He let go of her hand and put both of his hands on the side of her face, sliding his thumbs underneath her eyes to stop the tears. The next thing she knew, he was kissing her. Hard. She tried to push away, but he was too strong. He turned his body so his knees were resting on the bed, holding his body over hers. His lips moved away from hers and down to her neck.

She gasped and tried push him away again, "Ash, stop." But her weak attempts weren't working. His hand moved under her dress and onto her thigh. She pushed again, but harder. He fell back and she shot off the bed.

"You can't do this! I love you!" he yelled at her.

"But I don't love you," she said in a shaky voice, "goodbye Ash." she turned to the door and walked out into the hall.

She practically ran down the hall. There was one thing she needed to do before she left. She ended up back in the room where everyone else was, but she didn't care about anyone else. Only one person could make it better. Her eyes fell on the gold halo that was his hair, and another too. A beach blonde girl, Kaelie, was straddling his hips and kissing his neck. Clary gasped and Jace's eyes flew open like he could hear her. She covered her mouth with her hand and spun on her heel, running to the closet behind her. She could have sworn that she heard Jace call her name but she didn't care. She swung the door open and slammed it shut behind her, leaning against the wall and sliding down it. There were tears streaming down her face, staining her dress and running her mascara, but that was the least of her worries.

"You knew this was going to happen. Stupid." she chided herself.

"You knew what was going to happen?" a voice said from the door.

She hiccupped and looked up to see Jace standing in front of the closed door. "Go away." she mumbled.

He crouched down by her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, "Not until you tell me why you're crying."

"Why don't you just go back to your whore? You seemed pretty contempt there." she spat.

"You mean Kaelie? She's nothing." he dismissed.

Clary scoffed, "I didn't look like nothing to me."

"Were you jealous?" he asked in a mock tone.

She looked away and bit her lip. Jace looked at her in shock and slid further down onto the floor.

"You were jealous?" he asked in disbelief.

She looked at him again and sniffed. She'd never seen him look so dumbfounded before. "Funny, the roles are switched." she chuckled.

"I was never... Okay, maybe I was a little jealous." he admitted, looking down at the floor.

Clary gapped at him, not knowing what to say to his confession. He looked back up at her and smiled at her shock. She smiled back and crawled closer to him, leaning her head on his shoulder. He froze for a second, not sure if he should touch her, but decided it didn't matter. His arm went around her waist and pulled her closer. They looked down at each other for a long time, just losing time in each others eyes.

"We should probably go." Clary said, breaking their silence.

Jace shook his head, "Right, Ash might think we're up to something." he said tightly.

"He can think what ever he wants." she said.

Jace looked at her with a confuse look, "What?"

"I broke up with Ash," she paused to take a deep breath and stood, "I left him. For you."

Jace took in a sharp breath, "F-for... _me_?" he stumbled on his words.

She nodded and reached a hand down, "But I guess I was too late." she said quietly.

"What do you mean?" he asked in surprise.

She could feel her eyebrows knit together in confusion, "Aren't you and Kaelie... you know..." she couldn't finish, and just let her words drop off.

"Are we what? Dating?" she nodded her head, "No." he said simply, shaking his head.

She let out a breath in relief and started walking towards the door. She was about to reach for the knob but was spun around, and before she knew it Jace's lips were on hers. It was soft at first, and she gasped as she felt a small spark, but then it intensified. He pushed her up against the door and had one arm around her waist and his free hand in her hair. She could feel he knees go weak as he pulled her up and she hooked her ankles behind his back, causing her to straddle his hips. Her lungs were on fire, but she didn't care. This was what she wanted. Finally, Jace pulled away. They were both panting from lack of breath, but there were smiles on their faces.

Clary looked up into his eyes and somehow her smile grew wider, "I love you." she whispered.

* * *

******AH, THIS IS MY LONGET ONE SO FAR! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT!**

**Muwahahaha! I'm evil, I know! But I'm just going to leave with this and let you sit on it. :D**

**If you're not to mad with my little cliffy, you should go, ya know, favorite or review it or something... No biggie... **

**I promise I'll update soon, and I apologize I didn't update sooner...**

**XOXO**

**LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	6. AN DON'T HATE ME!

**Hey guys, so don't hate me for this... Just an A/N passin through... **

**Soooo, anyways. I'm going to start off from last time, but I want your guys opinions. Should I keep doing the chapters like I usually do them, or should I slow down and make it longer? I think I'll make it longer, but want to know what you think! **

**Also, I may have already mentioned this, but I'm thinking of changing the rating, so watch for that! **

**I'm having terrible writes block, and can't seem to get the next chapter going, so I apologize if it takes longer than usual... I really love all the amazing reviews, but I need some ideas! **

**And again, please don't hate me for not updating... **

**XOXO **


	7. Love is all I Need

**Okay, so I usually don't do this, but I'm going to pick up from the last chapter! **

**And I should probably be doing this more often, so...**

**Disclaimer: Cassie Clare owns TMI, I only own Ash, and the brief moments his sister was and may be in the story (:**

* * *

~Last Time~

She could feel her eyebrows knit together in confusion, "Aren't you and Kaelie... you know..." she couldn't finish, and just let her words drop off.

"Are we what? Dating?" she nodded her head, "No." he said simply, shaking his head.

She let out a breath in relief and started walking towards the door. She was about to reach for the knob but was spun around, and before she knew it Jace's lips were on hers. It was soft at first, and she gasped as she felt a small spark, but then it intensified. He pushed her up against the door and had one arm around her waist and his free hand in her hair. She could feel her knees go weak as he pulled her up and she hooked her ankles behind his back, causing her to straddle his hips. Her lungs were on fire, but she didn't care. This was what she wanted. Finally, Jace pulled away. They were both panting from lack of breath, but there were smiles on their faces.

Clary looked up into his eyes and somehow her smile grew wider, "I love you." she whispered.

* * *

Jace stared at her in surprise, "I..." he opened his mouth to say something but his voice caught.

Clary looked up at him in disappointment and untangled herself from his grip. She reached for the door but was pulled back again, "No, Jace. I get it, if you d-" she started, but was cut off by another kiss.

Jace slowly pulled away and leaned his forehead on hers, "I love you too." he said it quietly, but to Clary it sounded like he had yelled it. He loved her too, and that was what mattered.

She smiled up at him, "So what does this make us now?" she asked quietly.

Jace chuckled, "I don't even know, what do you call a make out session in a closet?"

"How swiftly you dismiss our love." Clary joked.

"Love." Jace said as if the word meant more than just that. He looked down at the girl he _loved _and bit his lip.

Clary could feel a shiver travel down her spine, caught up in everything Jace. She forgot everything, even the fact that her dress was pulled up all the way up her thighs as she straddled his hips. _How did that happen? _She thought, not remembering that she wrapped her legs around him again. Jace must have realized, because now he was blushing. She could barely see it in the dim light, but she was still shocked. Jace never got embarrassed about anything. It made her feel a rush of happiness to know she could do something to him that not many others could. Reluctantly she unwrapped her legs and stepped down, still looking up into his eyes and smiling. She grabbed his hand and led them out of the closet.

Jace gave her a confused look as she pulled him out of the closet, "Where are we going?" he yelled over the loud music.

"We're leaving. I don't need to be at my ex-boyfriend's party with my new boyfriend." she said, testing to see how he would react to the word.

He just smiled and squeezed her hand as she walked over to Izzy. She was sitting on Gabriel's lap, giggling about something.

"Iz we need to go home." Clary said sternly.

"Whaaaat? Why?" she whined.

"Because." was all Clary said.

"But I don't want to g-" she stopped suddenly, "Oh. My. Angel! WHY ARE YOU TWO HOLDING HANDS?"

Clary blushed but didn't let go of Jace's hand, "Because," she said again, "now we're leaving."

"But I don't wanna go!" Iz whined.

Clary gave Gabriel a look that said 'help me'. He nodded his head in understanding and stood up, swooping Iz up in the process. She let out a small squeal in protest, but didn't resist further. All four of them walked out into the warm night, not saying a word. Izzy was completely silent, which meant she was asleep. _Good, _Clary thought, _less drunk babble and questions about me and Jace. _She smiled at the thought of _her_ _and __Jace _and looked up at him. To her surprise, he was already looking at her.

Gabriel cleared his throat, "I have to get home..." he trailed off.

"I can take her." Jace offered, taking the hint. He lifted Iz out of Gabriel's arms and repositioned her.

Gabriel nodded, looking a little relived, "Tell her I'll see her tomorrow."

Clary and Jace both nodded as they watched Gabriel walk away. "I don't like him." Jace grumbled.

Clary chocked back a laugh, but failed. Jace gave her a puzzled look, "What?" he asked defensively.

"I've never seen you so protective over her." she said, trying to sound more serious.

It was his turn to laugh, "She is my sister. Even if we're not blood related, I still feel obliged to watch over her."

Clary looked at him in shock. She still wasn't used to this Jace; the Jace who had compassion. He wasn't even like this as a kid. She stared at him in a mixture of admiration and confusion.

"What are you staring at me for?" he asked.

Clary shook her head and moved her hair to cover her blush. He stepped in front of her and brushed her hair back, "What is it?" he asked sweetly.

"It's just..." she didn't know how to put it.

"Just what?" he asked smiling at her.

"Just that I'm not used to seeing you like this." she smiled back.

His smile faltered a bit, "Is that a good or bad thing?"

"Good." she whispered.

He nodded, and turned around, trying to hide his blush, and started walking. She followed him in a comfortable silence. It took her a second to realize they were walking in the direction of where her house was. It made sense, her mom wasn't home and Jace and Izzy's parents would kill them if they came home with alcohol in their systems. She silently thanked the Angel that the first day of school was on a Friday, knowing that she would have never been able to pull herself out of bed the next morning.

As they walked up the small steps to her house, Clary felt a heaviness in her chest. She couldn't quite put a finger on it, but something was bothering her. She heard the lock click as she turned the key and she pushed the door open, stepping aside to let Jace walk through. _Jace_, she thought. That, more like he, was what was making her feel uneasy. She realized that he was probably going to have to stay too if Izzy was going to stay. It wasn't like they hadn't slept in the same house before, but now it was different. Now that they had feelings for each other, it made the sexual tension raise. That tension was so thick that Izzy could probably cut it with her nine inch heels.

"Where should I put her?" Jace asked, breaking her out of her reverie.

Clary looked up at him, a flash of confusion on her face, but then she realized what he was implying. "Um, on the couch I guess." she shrugged.

Jace nodded and slowly set his sister on the couch. When she was positioned right he straightened up and looked at Clary, "I guess I should go home then." he said quietly.

Clary cocked her head at him, "Won't you get in trouble?" she asks.

"Yeah, but I'd rather it be me than Iz." he sighed.

"You... you don't have to go home. You could always stay here if you want." she said shyly, practically whispering and surprising herself.

He bit his lip, a mixture of emotions splayed on his face. "Clary, you don't have to do that. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."

"I want you to stay." she said in a small pleading voice.

Jace gulped, "You... you want me to stay?" he asked in surprise.

Clary nodded, trying to hide a smile. Jace stood there in silence, carefully eying her. "Are you sure you didn't drink anything at the party?" he asked slowly.

Clary laughed, "I think you'd be able to tell if I was drunk." she stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck.

He stood there frozen for a second, then melted into her touch, "I guess you're right." he said in a husky voice.

Clary shivered at the way his voice sounded, and in response Jace pulled her closer. Besides them, Izzy stirred and sat up, "If you're going to make out, do it somewhere else. I already feel nauseous enough." she groaned.

Clary blushed and stepped back, "That's what you get for drinking so much." she teased, "Do you need anything?"

"Sleep." Iz slurred, "And a giant glass of water." she added.

"I'll get that." Jace offered.

Clary nodded, "I'm going to go change then." she said.

She ran up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door shut. She grabbed a pair of cotton shorts and a loose tank top and quickly changed. When she was done she went back down stairs and sat down next to a half asleep Izzy.

"How are you feeling?" she asked nicely.

"Shitty." Iz moaned.

Clary laughed and patted her back, "I'd say I feel sorry for you. But... I don't." she joked.

"Shut up." she snapped, then took a deep breath, "Is there something I should know about you and my brother?"

_Damn it,_ Clary thought. She bit her lip and looked down at her hands, "We're kind of... um... dating."

"What?" Iz screeched, making Clary flinch, "It's about time." Iz mumbled.

"Wait, you're not mad?" Clary exclaimed.

"Of course not, why would I be?" Iz questioned.

"I- I really don't know." Clary stuttered, still dazed by Iz's reaction.

Iz laughed and lied back down, almost instantly falling back to sleep. Jace walked out of the kitchen, a large glass of water in his hand. He set it on the coffee table and sighed.

"What?" Clary asked, puzzled.

He laughed without humor, "My sister doesn't know how to stay in her business."

"You heard that?" she blushed.

"You two still don't know the definition of a whisper." he teased.

Clary chuckled, "We still need to work on that I guess."

Jace smiled at her, "I guess."

She smiled back at him, not saying another word. They stared at each other, smiles starting to fade. Clary faked a yawn and stood, "I'm going to bed." she announced.

Jace nodded, "Goodnight, Clary." there was a flash of disappointment in his eyes.

Clary stood there, debating on whether she should say she was thinking. "You don't have to sleep on the couch, you know?" she asked quietly.

Jace gave her a confused look, "Where am I supposed to sleep then?" he asked playfully.

"I have a big bed upstairs." she tilted her head towards the stairs.

His eyes widened, "No. Clary, you don't have to do this. Really, I'm okay on the couch." he shook his head.

"Like I said before Jace, I want you to." she said confidently.

Jace's breath hitched as he stood up from the couch. Silently, he followed Clary up the stairs. When they reached her room, Jace froze in the doorway. Clary gave a small laugh and pulled him in by the wrist, "It's okay Jace. I don't bite." she joked.

He let out a puff of breath that resembled a laugh, yet there was no humor in it whatsoever. Clary sat on the bed and patted the spot beside her. Slowly and carefully Jace sat down, keeping a little distance between them. Clary rolled her eyes and closed the space between them. He stiffened, but didn't move an inch.

"What are you so tense for? It's just me." Clary said, confused.

He took a deep breath, "I'm not... It's just..."

"Just what?" she asked sweetly.

He bit his lip, "I just don't want to hurt you. What you said last year... It meant nothing to me at first. I still had feelings for you, but I didn't want to. I was hurt, and I thought if I hurt you..." he shrugged, "I don't know. But now... Now that we're something... I'm afraid to hurt you." he whispered.

Clary's eyebrows knitted together, "Jace, I know you would never hurt me. What does this have to do with sleeping in the same bed?"

"Nothing." he shook his head. "And you don't know that. I could. I could hurt you."

Clary sighed and stood up. Jace cocked an eyebrow as she sat back down on his lap, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck. "Do it then. Hurt me." she challenged.

Jace took in a sharp breath, but didn't reply. "If you love me as much I love you, I know that you would never hurt me." Clary whispered, tilting her head up to his.

He slowly snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her body closer to his. She gasped, surprised by the sudden closeness, and put her hand on his chest. His heart was beating fast, like hers. "I love you more than you know."

"Prove it." Clary said playfully.

He smiled and tilted his head back, "I'm in love with you Clarissa Fairchild!" he yelled.

Clary laughed and put a hand over his mouth, "Okay, okay. I get it." she giggled, happy that the tension was gone.

She could feel his smile widen under her hand and then something wet. Her hand quickly flew back and she shrieked, "Ew!"

Jace laughed, and leaned back on the bed, pulling her with him. She shrieked again, then laughed along with him. When they stopped laughing, Clary hovered above Jace with her arms by the sides of his head. Her legs straddled his stomach and his hands rested on her hips. She smiled down at him, and she slowly lowered her head. He leaned on his elbows to meet her half way, their lips brushing softly. Clary let out a small gasp and pressed her hip bones harder to his. He took in a sharp breath of surprise and pulled back.

"Clary, you don't have to do this." he panted.

Clary shook her head, and blinked as if she was realizing what she was doing. "Oh- oh my gosh, Jace. I'm so sorry." she stuttered. Slowly, she slid off of him and sat on the corner of the bed. She put her knees to her chest and rested her chin on top them and let out a shaky sigh. "I'm so, so sorry." she whispered.

"No, you don't need to be sorry. I just don't want you to do anything you regret. I don't want you to regret..." he let his words drop, looking down at the floor.

"Regret what? Us?" she asked in disbelief, "Jace, look at me." she begged. When he wouldn't look at her she crawled over to him and put her finger under his chin to bring his eyes to hers. "I could never, _ever_ regret what we have."

Jace closed his eyes and nodded his head, "I'm still afraid Clary. Afraid that I'll hurt. Afraid that I'll make you hate me."

"I could never hate you. And if you hurt me, we both know I'm pretty capable of killing you myself." she joked.

Jace smiled and opened his eyes to look at her emerald ones, "I think Iz would beat you to that."

Clary laughed in agreement and yawned, "Okay, now I really need to go to bed."

Jace nodded and slowly slid under the covers, pulling Clary with him. They laid there, their legs tangled together, no words leaving their mouths. As time went on, Clary fell into a deep sleep, while Jace lay there looking at her in admiration. Before his eyes became too heavy he whispered, "I love you."

* * *

**I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! I KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WAITING, AND I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH SCHOOL AND BEING GROUNDED... I WOULD PROMISE TO UPDATE FASTER... BUT I'M NOT SURE IF I CAN UPDATE THAT FAST... and I know this isn't as long as my last one, but I didn't know how to continue with it... **

**I know that the first day is of school usually supposed to start on a Monday, but it was more convenient to have it this way(and yes, it's still the first day). Plus, when has anything in the Shadowhunter world been normal? **

**Haha, anyways, so I used one of my fans review in this chapter! I just felt like it was appropriate. Thank you Abby for that(: **

** I think that I'm going to keep this whole thing where I start where I leave off thing for a while! I kinda like it!**

**I'm thinking about starting another story... No Shadow World, just normal people. But lots of Clace, Malec, and Sizzy! What do you think? **

**Don't forget to review XD **

**XOXO**


End file.
